Hi. Welcome. I’m another millennial who thinks the world wants to hear what I have to say on a blog.
In truth, I am really annoyed by said millennial bloggers. I make fun of these bloggers. Like, who wants to read about what someone ate for lunch, or where she got that pair of ridiculous pom pom sandals, or how her wonderful boyfriend is for bringing her fresh tulips every Wednesday just because?
Turns out, I do.
I started a job a while back that consists of me sitting in a chair, in front of a computer, for 8 hours a day. I have found it is VERY rewarding. JK. But what I have found, is that I can read roughly 20 blogs a day now. So today, as I was scrolling through a new blog that my friend K (who also sits at a computer for 8 hours a day) recommended – it hit me. I must have a blog of my own. I mean, I’m a little funny. Emphasis on little. One of my claims to fame is winning a state championship in Improvised Duet Acting in high school. Is it terribly sad I count this as a claim to fame? Yes. Okay- back on track. I decided I must have a blog of my own. Not because I’m highly fashionable or know all the best spots to eat or because my life is interesting at all.
But because my mom has cancer.
Woah. That felt weird to type. I’ve been practicing saying that phrase aloud to myself, in my car, in the bathroom – “Mom has cancer, Mom has cancer” – and it’s getting a little easier to say, but something about seeing it in print makes it really real.
Last Thursday, Mom Facetimed me, like she usually does, and we chatted for a while. Nothing out of the ordinary. Then, Mom told me she went in for a mammogram and they found a lump. She went back for another, lump looked worse. Doctor is pretty sure it’s cancer. Already discussing treatment alternatives. Surgeon from Nebraska. Radiation. Mastectomy….and on and on. I kind of blacked out after the initial mention of “cancer” so the rest of the conversation consisted of me trying valiantly, but failing, not to cry in front of my mom. Every fear I’ve ever harbored about losing my parents came rushing into my mind. In a split second, I became painfully aware of how much I rely on my mom. She’s my tailor, my nurse, my therapist, my Pinterest recipe board, my cheerleader, and on and on. Mom- if you read this- know that that list was in no particular order – I do NOT see you as my tailor first. Anyway, to hear her say the word cancer was so scary. But, in true momma bear fashion, she bit back with “I do NOT want you to be sad. EVERYTHING is going to be okay. I am going to be FINE.” and she meant it.
Sad sob story aside – this is NOT intended for your pity. This blog is intended to honor the amazing woman who pushed out a screaming 10 lb baby at 41 years old. (That was me, and also this is why she loves me more than my older siblings – sorry M & T.) I don’t tell her enough how much she means to me, and so, why not do so for everyone (okay, probably like 3 people) to read.
Mom is always right. About everything. And she is right about this cancer. We are not going to be sad. Everything is going to be okay. And we are going to be just fine.